February Training Log

February Training Log (42.6 monthly mile goal)

2/1

2/2
3.55 miles in 31:15 ~ 8:48/mile pace

First outdoor run in a month! Enjoyed getting out onto the road and being able to change my tempo/pace naturally. Since I was never a runner in High School or College, I don't really know how to do "tempo" runs or training runs; I just run.

Running for me is about getting the miles in, pushing personal limits, and physical/mental/spiritual well being!

[3.55 miles]

2/3

2/4
3.1 miles in 28:59 ~ 9:21/mile pace

[6.65 miles]

2/5

2/6
2.0 miles in 18:10 ~ 9:05 pace

[8.65 miles]

2/7

2/8

2/9
Took a class at the Y, 1 hr. long.
Rowed 85 calories
Jacob's Ladder, 500 ft.

2/10

2/11
3.33 miles in 30:02 ~9:06/mile pace

[11.98 miles]

2/12

2/13
1 mile in 8:31
[12.98 miles]

2/14

2/15

3.3 in 30:00
9:05/mile
[16.28]

2/16

2/17

2/18

3.5 miles in 30:01 ~8:35/ mi pace
[19.78]

2/19

3.3 miles in 30.07
9:08/mile
[23.08]

2/20

3.3 miles in 30.07
9:08/mile
[23.08]


2/21

1.6 miles in 15:00
9:23/mile
[24.68/42.6]

2/22

2/23

2/24

2/25

2/26

Outdoor run at home-a little sore to start, finished strong. Made a new running friend while I was out.

4.5 in 38:46
~8:30/mi
[29.1]

2/27
Leg Workout:
Press 3x10
Seated Calf 3x20
Standing calf 3x20
Extension 3x10
Jacobs Ladder: 200'

2/28 

[29.1 miles in February with 30.4 miles in January= 59.5 miles so far. Working out the numbers, I will have to up my mileage to 44.05 miles per month for the rest of the year. I plan on making most of this up between May and August. If everything goes accordingly, I can lower my mileage through the winter months of 2019. I didn't do a very good job of keeping track of all of my workouts this month, so some weight-training and cycling has been left off.]

How I'm Dealing With My Mental Health...While Dealing with Students' Mental Health

     Long title, probably a long post. Buckle in.

     I think that I've gained some kind of reputation for my students that I'm the one they can "go to" with their academic and personal issues/problems/questions. With less than four years of working in a public school, I have lost count of how many one-on-one conversations I have had with students where there has been a combination of tears, hugs, and the revealing of critical personal information. I have called Child Protective Services more times than I ever wanted to, and I know that some of those made the situation worse...not better. 

     (Un)fortunately, I am not a robot, so I have not been able to deal with my students issues or problems without them compounding on top of my own psychological challenges. Sometimes, I take my students' problems personally--I've lost sleep over what happens to them and how helpless I sometimes am in their life when it comes to real issues. 

     Some days, especially this year, I have been overwhelmed by my own personal life with their lives piled on top. When my wife was in the process of miscarrying back in the fall, I was emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted because I couldn't (still can't) process my own grief about it and then try to help guide these young adults through their own troubled waters. 

     How do I do it? I'm not even sure some days. Some days I don't think that I do it right. Some days I'm not able to be the penultimate educator because I'm trying to process my state of mind, my students' state of mind, or a mixture of the two. 

     I try to keep things in perspective. Are my the issues that students face real problems or are they the normal "growing pains" that we all go through in young adult-hood? If they're real I devote more time and effort to them, regardless of the student. Then I try to keep my problems in perspective; am I facing a real problem, or am I just overwhelmed by my responsibility and they will eventually come to pass? Once I evaluate this, I normally feel a little better. 

     Some of my students joke that I'm an honorary guidance counselor, that I handle much of the same issues for some students that counselors normally do. Thanks to some of the classes I teach, I'm in a unique position to talk about several things in class. Life goals, financial goals, home-life status, among other things. Some of these conversations are eye-opening. Talking to students about their homelessness or about how they are the primary financial provider in their home-it's amazing. Sometimes we see a student as being "bad" or "lazy" but some of them shoulder enormous loads and they don't have a chance to vent or relax outside of school. 

  

     Some of these students carry large chips on their shoulders, and I find myself wondering how I would respond under similar pressures. Some of them move on about their day as if nothing wrong is happening; other times, a student may go absent for a week because they are struggling. But this is why I do the work. This is why my classroom is sometimes seen as messy, unorganized, or less than rigorous. I spend my time getting to know my students, listening to their fears and hopes and challenges, and if instructional time must be sacrificed from time to time in order to do this, I'm okay with that. 

     It's okay to work with your students, colleagues, or peers through their issues or to help them solve a problem. It's okay to know that you need to take "mental health days" if you're feeling overwhelmed. It's also critical that you know what you can go through versus what you grow through. Part of instructing young adults is to let them know that, "yes this sucks now, but you're going to grow through this, so don't give up". Some students flourish under these pressures, and some fade away, and my heart breaks for them when they cannot see that promise at the end. Knowing that I've helped one kid or 100 kids is what lets me keep coming back day after day.

  

     As a professional, I have to know that my patience and my own mental health is a finite resource and that it must be guarded. Some days or weeks I may be emotionally unavailable to my students, and even though I know they might need me or that I may come across as grumpy, it's my self-preservation mechanism. It's how I protect my mind and heart. Much of my life is balancing my mental health so that I may be available to my students but also available to my family. It's a difficult line to walk, but it is a necessity that I leave space for my family. They are my grounding, they are the touchstone in my life that I know when I come home, we can weather the storm together in our own imperfect ways. 

     I believe in grace, I believe in love, and I believe that if you can take care of yourself and be in a good place, it is our responsibility to bring up others. Life is too hard to do alone. So how do I do it? I realize that each day will dawn new and that I have in me an ability to help others--that's my calling. I do it because I want to be the person I needed when I was younger. 

I hope this post may inspire you to reach out and help others in you own way.

Best, 

Watching the Scale- Should We Love or Hate the Numbers?

     I have a confession to make; I'm terrible when it comes to watching the scale. Even when I wasn't working out regularly I obsessed over the number. I think it's a by-product of when I wrestled in school; you had to hit a certain number in your weight so you could wrestle in the weight class so that you could be successful. You didn't necessarily want to be 5'5" and wrestle at the 220 heavyweight class...you'd die! So we worked our tails off to where we could be at a competitive weight class.

     So it has gone since those long ago middle school days--I check the scale. If it's higher than what I ~think~ it should be, I get mad and determined to do better. If it's in what I've deemed an acceptable range, I might drink a chocolate milk or eat something that's not exactly good for me as a little treat.

     Since we've been working out more regularly, I've tried to realize that it's not about this number. Instead, it's about the way you feel and whether or not you are physically getting healthier. The number on the scale is sometimes a by-product of the work that we do, but the main focus should be on the way we feel.

Do we feel healthier?

Has our mentality/mood changed for the better?

Is our self-perceived body image getting better?

     If the answer to those questions is yes, then we are doing good work. We should work out to feel better and get healthier-not recognize more and more areas of improvement until we obsess over the things we think are not aesthetically pleasing.

     I still struggle with this daily. It's an alarming fact that my 2 year old often plays with the scale because he has seen me on it so many times. I want to be healthy so that I can be with my family for a long time, but I understand that it needs to be more than a number on a scale. I want my body to reflect the positive changes I've made, I want to see progress; but I don't want to obsess over it.

     It's a journey and a struggle to find this happy balance between positive body image and actually "seeing" a result. I need to be happy with the fact that my doctor says I'm more healthy now than I was a year ago. I need to be happy that clothes are fitting better than they used to.

....regardless of the number on a scale.

How do you balance out between positive body image and "results"?

Breaking Even with Students

     It has been a focus in our school district this year to become more practiced in what is known as Trauma Informed Care (TIC). Teachers have had the opportunity to receive additional training in TIC and it has shown itself to be an overall effective practice in our building. More teachers are building more (or better) relationships with students in the building.

     If we throw out the old classic, Maslow's Hierarchy, then we know that building a safe environment, relationships included, that students will then have a foundation they can grow out of.

     By examining this research based model, we can all understand that students have basic needs, psychological needs, and a need for self-fulfillment. Now, this all seems to be common sense when you say it out loud, but the problem is with the outside world observing education. We all know that we need to have these needs met to be successful and we also know that a frighteningly large number of students do not have these needs met on a daily basis. When we engage in conversations about needing more support, more funding for social programs in schools, and other similar engagements, we are shunned. It turns on the building administration or the teachers themselves as to why students are failing tests or classes. 

     Teachers do the best they can, I believe, to build a safe environment where students feel they belong. I also know several teachers who try to provide for physiological needs like food, clothing, and rest. That falls well outside of the "job description" of a teacher, although just about every teacher understands they must provide fro these needs. 

     So teachers must walk a fine line with their students. We cannot effectively teach students until they have certain needs met, but we cannot spend all of our time providing those needs lest the educational value of the institution decrease. Teachers must sometimes become aware that they are breaking even with students. 

     Breaking even means that we are providing those base needs, and because we have to provide that, then some days education doesn't happen at the level we would like it to. It means that sometimes I'm giving out more hugs and high fives than I am graded assignments. I'm A-Okay with that, it's the reason why I do the work. 

     There's a dark side to this building of the basic needs in the classroom that teachers seldom like to say out loud. When we break even and we have to shelve some content related items, it means that we are constantly behind. Add that up over the course of the year and all of the sudden it becomes clear how kids struggle with end of year testing/standardized tests. They have gone so long just trying to build a base for themselves that they are unable to keep up with where state or federal governments want them to be. 

     The question we, as a society, have to ask ourselves is this; what do we want our teachers to be providing our students and what roles do teachers play in the whole development of our young people? It truly does take a village to raise children, but what do we do if the village doesn't have the ability or resources to raise children? What happens if politicians and those with certain agendas convince the voting populous to not give what is actually needed to raise children. I have pretty conservative fiscal views, so I'm not asking voters to spend more and more tax dollars on things that aren't working. I'm calling for people to work with teachers. Can a world exist where politicians, teachers, parents, students, and other community stakeholders can work together?

     Education shouldn't be a trade-off to break even between raising a child and educating a child. That is the stark reality we live with in certain districts. I love my students who have to fight and claw their way to the top. I know that for some students I may be the only positive adult in their life and that is only for a few hours a day. Some days I have to break even between raising and educating, and I'm fine with that. These students are my kids and I will care for them always--but it's time for those higher powers to place that kind of importance on our students. 

Best,

What's Working? What Needs More Attention?

     The last two weeks have been a professional whirlwind. I have found myself short on patience, short on time, and short on motivation to engage in the act of meaningful teaching. It's probably one of the oddest seasons of my short career, and it got so bad that friends/colleagues that don't see very much of me are pointing out that I seem to be in a funk.

     I spent some time on the phone with one of these friends last week, before I decided to take a mental health day, and discussed my frustrations and lack of motivation. She prompted me with the questions that have become the title of this post: "1. What's working? 2. What needs more attention?" I have decided to answer these questions, not just for my professional situation, but all areas.

Dad-ing

1. What's Working? This season of my life has probably been the most prosperous as a dad. I have a more meaningful relationship with my son, we enjoy each other's company more than ever, and I haven't had to put him in time out very often, which was becoming quite the drag in this household. Getting to watch my son grow and enjoy the world around him is definitely working right now. I feel that our relationship is full of love and mutual understanding, as much as you can have with a two year old, and it is such a positive.

2. What needs more attention? I feel that I need to spend more time working with my son learning things, which sounds funny coming from a teacher. I think that my son is at a point where he can really start excelling at learning new things, so I need to embrace that and find new things to spark his curiosity and thirst for learning.

Teaching

1. What's working? So far, I feel that there isn't much working with my teaching. However, I feel that I have been able to maintain and build relationships with some students that are less than enthused to be at school. Somewhere along the way I defaulted to my base "kids over content" mentality, which is what I try to convey everyday, but if the classroom is burning down around me I try to maintain relationships at the very least.

2. What needs more attention? Just about every professional aspect of my life needs more attention. I haven't written *good* lesson plans to follow in weeks, my assignments are flat, I'm relying on canned content to push through my learning targets, and I'm not a presence in my classroom like I typically am. One class in particular, which it is my first year teaching both the class and the grade level, is almost a day-by-day "let's see what I can do" instead of planning for it and making it meaningful for the students and myself. This is the part of my life that seems most out of balance right now.

     It's like when I'm at work, I've tuned into a radio station that's just outside of my antennas reach--all I'm getting is every other word and a bunch of static. As soon as I roll out of the parking lot at the end of the day; I'm fine. I'm focused on other things; but not when I'm in the classroom. I exist, at this time, in a state of confusion in the classroom. I think I might have to get through the rest of my team's season and just take care of a couple of small things and I'll be back on track, but we'll see. 

Running

1. What's Working? Lately I have been pacing out right where I want to be, between 9:00 and 9:30 minutes per mile. I've started identifying possible half marathons to run and look forward to the challenge.

2. What needs more attention? I really need to start crunching the numbers and seeing how many miles I need to run to start reaching my yearly goal that I set in the first post of this blog. I can pull it off for the month of February, but I need to buckle down and get it done.

Husband-ing

Bonus section! My wife became critical that I was just focusing on Dad-ing, teaching, and running so I decided to add a Husband section!

1. What's working? Right now, there's a lot working. My wife and I are doing well at syncing up with each other and sharing the successes and burdens. We share the work and responsibilities and work under common understandings in order to get things done and still maintain a vestige of individuality. My little family is awesome.

2. What needs more attention? I feel that I need to spend more time paying attention to who my wife is as an individual; not necessarily as my wife or as a mom. She loves these roles and embraces them wholeheartedly, but I want her to know that I still see the individual and strong woman I married almost 5 years ago. I also feel that we need to start growing more in our faith as a family.

     Overall, things are going great in my life and I have a balance that lends itself towards being a good husband and dad. I just need to figure out how to increase my attention to work without it being all-consuming.

Any suggestions?

My Kid's Growing Up

     It is an inevitable truth that we are all getting older. We are getting older and I doubt that we are getting much wiser. However, this fact has never really manifested itself in front of me in the way it has over the last two years; back when my son was firstborn.

     Nothing in this world makes me feel as young at this moment has having an almost two year old son. He is full of energy and emotion and reminds me constantly that things are never quite settled. I see so many flashes of brilliance, both mentally and in personality, that I can hardly keep count of what he does. He has so many amazing personality traits and so many things that remind me of both my wife and myself. He is sharp, loving, and quick to an emotional response, just like we are. 

     I don't know if I would have ever really believed in things being "genetic" until I saw my son's temper flair up this last weekend. Something he was trying to do with stacking objects on one of his trucks wasn't going just the way he wanted and he melted down. Throwing his arms and giving a frustrated shout. I would imagine that this isn't unusual for most toddlers, but something in his cry of frustration reminded me so much of me that it was scary. The way he sounds when he is frustrated is the same sound I hear in my head when something isn't adding up the way I want it to. This means that my kid is more sponge-like than I like, or he really will have a disposition towards quick anger. 

Uh oh. 

     The thing I love about my kid growing up is that he is experiencing everything for the first time. He's experiencing emotional events, games, activities, all for the first time. I love it. I love seeing him respond to these events with no expectation as to what they might be. Shouldn't we all be so lucky as to not walk into situations with too high of expectations so that we are not constantly underwhelmed. I envy his ability to experience that rush of excitement when he is seeing or learning something new. But it is an extremely exciting and satisfying feeling when I get to see him experience these things. 

     I know that I will not always be this happy to experience things with him. His first heartbreak, the first time he confronts the concept of death, when he's cut from a team, or not cast in that play, I know that my heart will break for and with his. That's some of the beauty of it, however, that no matter what happens, I will be able to see him grow. I want him to always want to grow in his life and experience new things, even if they are heartbreaking sometimes. 

     Being around my son reminds me that I am getting older. My body can't do all of the things it used to do, my bedtime is earlier, and I have to make sure I drink more water and less of other beverages, and my hairline is running away faster than a car with no brakes. If I am going to be reminded of my impending senior-status, I'm glad that it's by this awesome person that's in my life every single day. I look forward to watching this guy grow up and become who he wants to be and to see what impact he has on his world. 

     I'm confident that I won't be disappointed in the result, and neither will you.

Best,

The Charge to Be Exceptional

     Today was the first day in a month that we were able to go to church and get back to a "more normal" schedule. The first two weeks of last month, church was cancelled due to weather and the last two weeks were just so busy we told ourselves we were unable to give that time up. Regardless, we went in today with a renewed want to be there, which I admit, had been missing for me for a few weeks.

     Today's sermon was aimed at the men (with a sermon directed towards women coming next week) in the congregation and how they should be exceptional. This word comes to me with some difficulty because I think to identify yourself as "exceptional" then you lose a little bit of your humility. Humility is a virtue I try to implement; I maybe get away from my pride 50% of the time. This sermon struck home with me as the preacher talked about what makes up an exceptional man in our faith. Those things were:

1. Having faith
2. Expressing Love
3. Being Humble
4. Accepting Responsibility

     I would be lying if I said I could do any of these well or even consistently; and maybe that's the point to the sermon. I have struggled with my faith, I've been stubborn with my expressions of love, and all of these things lend themselves to my pride. As I absorbed the message, I thought about the different roles I maintain in my life; husband, dad, teacher, coach, friend, and I realized where some of my strengths were and what my highlighted weaknesses really are.

     If I had to pick one of the four, I would have to say that my ability to express love to others is my strength. I feel like that is the one thing I grew with as I went through the various stages of life. My family is able to express love, my wife and child are unafraid to express love, and I have been able to do that in both my personal and professional life. Let's face it, the high schoolers I work with need love almost more than anything else, and it's a base part to my job to be able to do that.

     But what about my weaknesses? Having faith, accepting responsibility, and being humble are the three on the list that I struggle with. As far as my faith goes, I know what I believe and that I believe in something real. The question I found myself asking is, "Am I consistently faithful to my faith?" and I am not proud to admit that the answer is no. Sometimes I subscribe to the "Santa" version of Christianity where I ask for something and I hope that I receive it. Other times, in the season of my life, I have been able to grow in my faith and understand that growing doesn't necessarily mean "getting" something tangible in return.

     I believe that the other two, accepting responsibility and being humble, are things that we all struggle with because these are almost essential to our more primal sense of survival. Pride keeps us from appearing weak in front of others and being able to point the finger at others keeps us from being the target of scorn or ridicule. However, these are virtues that we may work on along our journey to becoming exceptional.

     If we work on becoming exceptional, not as faith based servants, but just as people, we may be able to work together a little better and empathize a little more with those around us. In this culture of finger pointing and jumping to conclusions, we might be able to use a little bit more training on accepting responsibility and maintaining our humility. If we come into each day with the goal of making our world a little better, or just in conquering those huge mountains ahead of us, we may start our trek to being exceptional. It's not all about faith, it's about humanity.

     I wish that my students could see that working towards exceptional doesn't have to be a complete one-day character rebuild--instead, it's a step by step journey that takes days, months, or years. I hope that my son sees me working towards being exceptional-as a father, husband, and as a man of faith. Each day I have to make a decision on whether or not I will try my best to be exceptional; and if I fail, then I get the privilege of trying again the next day.

     Last week was a hard week for me professionally; I did NOT have the patience in me to work with anybody, teenager or adult. I don't know what set it off, but I was in no way exceptional last week. So, with this being a Sunday night, I will wake up tomorrow morning and take my first steps toward becoming exceptional. Being exceptional doesn't mean being perfect, because we cannot achieve perfection. Instead, being exceptional may mean working on those 4 (or 3) things listed above, and trying your best to just be a good human.

     Exceptional is something we can work towards-perfection is an impossibility. It's our job to work towards exceptional without fearing failure. Failure is how we grow.

     If we're not failing, then we're not trying anything new.

Best,

How I Learned to Start Listening to and Loving My Body

     My journey with physical fitness has been an up and down roller coaster that has spanned the last 15 years, beginning all the way back in middle school. It has been full of personal heartbreak, triumph, and a surprising amount of negativity. You see, I am a man who has suffered from distorted body image for most of his life.

     When I was in first grade, I told my mom and dad that I wanted to join the youth wrestling program in our school district. They were nervous at first, but eventually allowed me to join. At the time, I looked like a pretty average first grader; fairly skinny and energetic. Flip the calendar one year forward, and young me has discovered that he's pretty good at eating. Really good at eating. At this time, I was 7 or 8 and found out, through great personal research, that I could eat a Big Mac extra value meal or an entire frozen pizza by myself, in one sitting. At the time I was proud of myself, "See Mom! I can eat like an grown-up!"

     Foolish.

     Thus begins my journey into what was most likely "undiagnosed" childhood obesity. I ate what I wanted when I wanted. Thanks to an overindulgent family member who watched me after school, I essentially ate two dinners every night through the week. The pounds stacked up like the lego's I liked to play with. I was involved in some kind of activity pretty frequently; in the spring and summer I played baseball and in the winter I wrestled--I thought I was just a "growing boy". I was growing, alright, but mostly around my waistline instead of in height.

     This all begins to change during my 6th grade wrestling season. All of the sudden, I realize that I am "strong", which as a overweight middle-schooler means that I am able to throw my weight around onto the other kids. I was lucky enough to have a brother and coach who both wanted to push me harder because I could actually be good at this. At the beginning of that wrestling season I weighed 175 pounds. 175 pounds as a 6th grader...I was maybe 11 or 12 years old. I was ROUND. I decided to take my wrestling more seriously because my older brother was having some success in his wrestling career as a high-schooler.

     All of the sudden, pounds start falling off. Between 6th and 7th grade I dropped all the way to 130 pounds-- for a total loss of 45 pounds. I had never experienced this kind of personal physical success. Obviously as an overweight child, physical success in gym class or on the field was rare. I became a better wrestler, focused on what I was eating (which was very little; I found out later as an adult that my teachers wrote home to my mother asking her if I was starving myself or developing an eating disorder), and became happy, for the most part, with how my body looked. But I still wasn't completely happy. All the sudden you could see my ribs, but I was mad about how my thighs looked flabby--as a kid in middle school. Looking back on it, I see how absorbed I was into my own body.

     So, I have some middling success as a middle school wrestler, which included a conference title via forfeit, and I move on into high school. I start to realize, during my freshmen year, that maybe I like baseball more than wrestling. Being an hour away from a the Cincinnati Reds, I have grand visions of playing college and professional baseball. What I thought was a medical condition (turns out it was a muscle spasm) becomes a good excuse to quit wrestling and take up baseball full time. At this time, I've hit a growth spurt and put back on some weight from middle school, so I'm about 5'10" and 185 pounds. All of the sudden, my weight starts to fluctuate. In high school, my weight drifts from the 180s to the 190s and I'm not really taking care of myself.

Senior year

     This continues on to through college until my senior year when I pack on about 25 pounds, ballooning my weight to 215+. I was busy, working 40 hours a week, student teaching 10-15 hours a week, and taking a full time college course load. I didn't feel like I had the time to exercise or to even make decent choices about my diet. Even if I packed healthy meals for myself, I would be going through the Taco Bell drive thru at 10:00 p.m. after my last class got out. I was starting a downward spiral.

     If you have seen my previous blog posts, you'll know that my weight stayed consistently above 210 until just recently when some diet and exercise changes allowed me to drop about 25 pounds. I'm finally *starting* to get comfortable with myself. I know this is a process, not a destination. Some days, I'm going to eat chips and queso and tacos and avoid stepping on the scale. Other days I know I'll make all of the right choices and be able to step on the scale and see the result.

     It's about more than a number on a scale; it's about the feeling. It's about feeling better. It's about knowing that fitness and life are a journey, not just a destination. I'm choosing now to enjoy and embrace the process, not dread it. It starts with a single step, with a simple motion in the right direction. Add up enough of these small steps and the results can follow. Because of this system, I've learned to be comfortable with my body-the feelings, the aches and pains, and the success and failures.

     I'm loving my body, even if that means not being in love with where I am in this moment. I love all of the crazy things my body can and will do. I'm amazed by how this body can run for more than 10 minutes at a time now, when before 10 minutes felt like 10 days. I'm in love with the subtle intricacies that God has put into this body that allows me the freedom to move and the will power to move it more often than not. It's not a perfect body; my knees hurt, I baby my right foot, and my back is capable of going out at random times and lock me up for 3 weeks. But I love this body; I hope you can learn to love yours.

Best,

   

The Surprising Thing About Patience

     There is no getting around the fact that people are in the field of education deal with one giant issue. We hear that having it is a virtue and that it is one of the most powerful tools we carry with us each day...but that does NOT mean that we don't struggle to implement it every day. You might have already guessed it (thanks to the title) but I'm talking about patience.

     Patience is one of the things I have been consistently inconsistent with because I feel that patience rests on a sliding scale and there are several factors that go into whether or not I'm successful in using it. Some days I am super patient, while on other days it may be better off if I give myself and my students plenty of room. Patience has allowed me to do some pretty cool things with students, because I was willing or able to be patient with them. My lack of patience, however, has lead to some pretty heated conflicts in the confines of my classroom as well.

What I see when I look up from the keyboard

     Because of patience, I have been able to push, cajole, and motivate students to graduation when at the beginning of the year we weren't sure they'd be able to. I have seen students go on to be good and productive members of society because of the patience I was able to show them and they were then able to use in turn. Graduation is one of my favorite times of year because I get to see the faces of kids walk across the stage who were a breath away from not being able to do it. Most of this is because they busted their rears to get work done and make something of their senior year, but I like to think that a few times of showing them patience may have given them the gentle nudge to keep going.

     My lack of patience however has lead me to be a less than perfect teacher more days than not. I can't pretend to be one of these awesome Instagram teachers who have the perfect day every day (we all know it's not true, and most teachers on Insta do a pretty good job of being pretty open and honest about their successes and failures). Instead, I have had days where my personal life leaks into my professional one. My bad personal days become my bad work days. I've written about personal struggles or setbacks on this blog before, and those have lead to some pretty harsh work days where I just cannot separate the two. It is one of my biggest flaws as a person and as a professional educator; but it is a work in progress.

    So, the surprising thing about patience is that it is more than a virtue that we can all strive to work towards- instead it is a gift. Those that have it need to value it, especially if they work in this field where more teachers than not leave the profession within the first five years. It's because there is not patience. Teachers, students, parents, and administrators all struggle with being patient. When everyone is on board and working together, patience is abundant, but when it's the middle of January and there's no end in sight, that is when we all have to dig deep and find that extra patience.

     Even if you're not an educator; if you work with people at all or are a parent to any age of child, you know all too well how important, how valuable, patience is. I hope you find your patience easily today. I'm looking for it too.

Best,

My Secret to Finding Motivation

     When I started to take my running "seriously" a couple of years ago, I had a pretty simple motivation--the scale was telling me a scary story. My mouth hung open in shock--though I'm not sure why; little exercise and a love of sweets quickly adds up!

     I was tipping that scales at close to 220 pounds, at 5'10" this was a bit of a problem. My physical health was declining and I could feel that I was starting to walk a path that would be hard to go back from if I didn't change something soon. On top of that, we were going to try and start a family soon, and I knew that I wanted to be able to keep up or merely stay around for my family. 

     That year for my birthday, my wife gifted me my first pair of "real" running shoes--Saucony Fastwitch 8's, super light weight to help balance out my heavy legs. I ran those shoes flat! They are so compressed now that I use them as my cycling shoes! After getting those shoes, I was hooked! The weight started to *slowly* come off and I felt better mentally--my work stress didn't bother me as much.

     So how do I, a confessed non-runner for the first 25 years of my life, stay motivated to run? My secret isn't much of a secret at all; I remember why I started. Those days that I get to run around with my kid reminds me that I need to be in decent shape to keep up with him. I remember that I want to be around to celebrate 60 years of marriage like my grandparents did. I remember that my son will start to look at me and internalize what he sees--was dad active and healthy or was he addicted to queso? (of course I am!)

     Some runs are terrible! My pace is slow, or I don't run the entire time, or the 5 miles I planned on running becomes 2. You're going to want to stop sometimes, or not even go at all. If you can remember your why, then it becomes easier. Not easy, just easier. I want to see my child graduate from high school and college. I want to be the best husband I can be, which means sticking around for awhile. I want to motivate my students to make healthy changes in their life. I always try to remember why and that helps me lace up the shoes multiple times a week.

     So when you're torn between a "mediocre" run and just staying on the couch, try try TRY to get out! A mediocre run still adds more miles than if you weren't running at all. Just knowing that you went for a run when you didn't want to makes it that much easier to go and do something great when you want to go!

     No matter how fast or slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!

My question to, faithful reader, is how you stay motivated to exercise or accomplish your goals? Let me know in the comments!

January Training Log

12/31/18 Log
Trying to ring the new year in right, and maybe offset some NYE foods, wife and I went to the gym at my work yesterday afternoon.

Log:

Chest Day

Barbell Bench Press- Reps: 10/8/4(F) - LBS: 115/135/145
Incline Bench Press- Reps: 10/8/15- LBS: 95/115/45 (bar)
Chest Fly- Reps: 3x10- LBS: 5/8/8

Run:

2.07 miles in 20:00- 9:40/mile pace

I was extremely disappointed in my upper body strength for this day. I'm going to chalk it up to not working out this muscle group in an organized way since August/September. For my stats, 5'10" and 185(ish), I should be lifting closer to my body weight and beyond. So this will give me something to work towards. (This is my "bro-science" assumption, so I'll do my homework and see what my numbers should be.)

As far as the running goes, I haven't had a serious training run since November, so I'm just gradually tuning these muscles and just getting back into the groove of running. I recently finished "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running", and the author spoke about just running everyday, not necessarily concerned with time but just with running long distances. My response to that? "Yeah, well I'm not a novelist, so I just don't get to run when I want for however long I want"--what this means is that keeping track of my time/pace, even over short distances, motivates me to do better. Ohio in the winter is not the definition of a runners' paradise by any stretch, so I have to stay hungry somehow. On this day, my calves were still tight from a previous leg workout and I was not feeling the run, even at its short length, but if I'm going to make a habit out of this I have to keep moving. After about a half of a mile, my calves loosened up and I was happy I got on the treadmill.

As one of the resident "nerd" teachers at my school, I coach the Academic Quiz Team (think team Jeopardy). Our season kicks off on Thursday, so coupling that with my normal obligations of teaching plus this additional commitment, I'm going to have to be crafty in the ways I get my workouts in.

1/1/19 Log

New Year's Day was a struggle to get up and do some kind of work out. The wife went to her HIIT classes that she takes from time to time in the morning, so I started the day with the toddler. Then we went to lunch with family to celebrate the new year, did some light shopping, and the went home. It was chilly, overcast, and I was tired from staying up late the night before. I felt like I should go for a run, but just didn't have the motivation.

I mentioned the run, wife asked if I was going, and something inside just clicked; "I need to run today" I didn't want to, my legs could have used the rest, but I needed to run.

Run:

4.2 miles in 39:30-- 9:25/mile pace

This was the longest distance I had covered since a Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot where I ran 5.3 miles at a 12:20 pace (not my true pace, as there were some technical difficulties along the route, where I essentially stopped running for no "good" reason.)

It was just one of those days where I knew I needed to start the year right but didn't have the motivation to do so. I'm glad I laced up and got out there. My legs relaxed faster, I felt good about my split times, and I am still under that 10:00/mile time.

1/2/19 Log

Bike- 3.00 in 12:36 ~ 14.3 mph average

Honestly, a random assortment of lifts which I didn't keep track of. I wanted to do work on my calves and quads, but a weird pain on the side of my quad worked its way to my knee and made it tender to work. I decided to rest it. Oddly enough, it felt fine on the bike but hurt on the lifts.

Bicep bar curls
Hammer Curls
Triceps Pull down
Cable Curl
Triceps Dips
45 lbs plate shrugs

1/14/19

Treadmill, Run. 3.1 miles in 27:49~ 8:58/mile
30 pushups
~100 ab heel touch things
~80 crunches

Need to work more on my core...

1/16/19

Treadmill Run, 3.37 miles in 30:06 ~ 8:56/mile
5 unassisted pullups, full extension PR

1/19/2019

Treadmill run, 3.27 miles in 30:04 ~ 9:12/mile pace

1/23/19

Treadmill run, 3.30 miles in 30:05 ~ 9:07/mile pace

(19.07 miles in January to date; need 41.7 miles per month to make 500 miles per year) [Some data incomplete, complete record on MapMyRun app]

Jacob's Ladder~ 5 minutes, sweet whole body workout!

I was angry for part of this run for personal reasons and that helped motivate me to mess with my pace a little bit. Even though I returned to average for my pace, I worked my way up to about an 8:00/mile at some points. This felt good as I know I can run that pace, I'm just afraid to do it over long distances.

1/26/19

Treadmill run, 3.35 miles in 30:03 ~ 8:58/mile pace

1/28/19

Treadmill run, 8.0 miles in 1:20:29 ~ 10:04/mile pace

(30.42 miles in January--may run today, but I will most likely not be running 11 miles. Will have to subtract January's total from 500 and then divide it out by 11 months to see what my new monthly totals will have to be.)

Essays and Tackling the Issues

Short post today!

     We have had three total calamity days this week at school and I've been here everyday doing something. Today, I'm finishing the grading on some essays and I started to think about the value some of this work has for our students.

     In the case of these essays, students had to interact with, research, and develop opinions on the issue of gun control. As a part of my practice, at least at the start, I allow my students to just fly headfirst into a topic; I don't do very much in the way of hand holding. I do this so that they can start to develop their own opinions about particular issues.

     Some of these papers have been OK, others have been phenomenal. The important thing is that these young adults, who will soon join us in the ranks as voters and potential leaders, have an opportunity to work with these issues before they are at the polling place. Education about our government and laws MATTERS!