The Complexities of Being a Dad and Teacher

     When we first had our son, I told my wife that it made me nervous to be both a teacher and a dad. When she asked why, I told her something along the lines of "teachers rarely think their kids are the ones in trouble/who need help" basically, teachers can sometimes turn a blind eye to their own children because they spend so much time trying to help other kids who's parents are "absent". We don't want to believe that we too may also be "absent" or zoned out when we get home at night.

    But I'll be honest; when the days feel like I'm a babysitter instead of an educator, I just want to come home and not be the adult in the room anymore.

     However, my not-even-two-year old does not know this about me. He's not aware enough of his world or have the experience necessary to know what his mother and I do or where we go for 8-10 hours a day and I wouldn't expect him to. So it becomes one more plate to spin in the air. We have to spin the plates of work, maintaining the house, maintaining our marriage, fitness, and being a fun/engaging parent to an active and sharp toddler.

     So I have to ask myself every single night, how am I going to be that parent today?

     And sometimes I fail at being that parent.

     Sometimes, being fun/engaging means that I'm rolling trucks down the hallway with him. Sometimes its doing the normal things, like baths, diaper changes, and dinner, while being extremely goofy so I can get a laugh. Sometimes being "fun" means I'm out of the room because I can't shake the stress from that work day and I don't want my negative vibe to affect his night. But sometimes I lose my cool, sometimes I'm on my phone, sometimes I decide to read whatever novel I have at the time. It's balancing the oft-mythical concept of self-care with being a parent. It's a narrow tight rope walk, but every day is a new day and a new opportunity, God willing.

     I can't be super-dad all the time; but I want my son to remember me as a dad who cared, and hopefully one day he'll see me as a positive role model. Here's to hoping I can pull that off.

Best,